Successful French Travel (Part Two)

5. Just say no to roses:

You may be familiar with this particular street-vendor trick.  Especially in larger cities it is known to happen.  A man or woman approaches you with a bundle of roses.  They invade your personal space; they prod you with the roses; they stick one in your hand; they say you owe them money.

In Paris it is a particularly severe affair at times.  While mounting the steps to Sacre-Couer (a place ridiculously crowded with tourists, though with beautiful views) I was approached by a man touting wrist bands instead of roses, and apparently my first mistake was responding to his English with English.  I returned his “good morning” wish, at which point I marked myself as tourist and fool.  He approached me and cut my contact with Kayley and Katrina.  Pushing towards me as I backed away he started grabbing at my wrists.  I backed away, tried to say “no,” but he was having none of it.  With my left wrist in his hand and my face showing a mixture of disgust and confusion he said “it’s okay” at which point I was more sure than ever that it was NOT okay.  Before he could clamp the thing on me Kayley rushed up, yelled “degage” at him and pulled me after her.

The rose people will look at you sullenly and stick the roses in your face, waiting for your response, but my point here is, no matter what, you should immediately say “NON” in the rudest way possible to whoever you see with crappy homemade things or roses (unless it’s a child, I suppose).  Politeness is weakness to these scavengers.  And I really don’t think I’m being too harsh using the word “scavenger.”

The site of harassment:

 

6.  Smiling is dangerous:

Similar to “just saying no” to roses, not smiling becomes an important tactic as well.  I know I said in the “On French Stereotypes” post that the French smile when appropriate.  Well, they don’t smile on the street and that is the important part of this to remember.  Like responding to some jerk with roses, smiling acts as a form of encouragement to people that would take anything that you might give them.  My advice is to look constantly angry, like you are fed up with the world and France and having a terrible time.  The point is to look unapproachable.  That’s the key.  You can be as happy as you like on the inside, but like Lady Gaga, you gotta put on your poker face.

7. Watch your step:

So, most everywhere in France you will find deceivingly uneven and cracked walking paths.  Most paths are cobblestone (hazard implied) but there are also random slopes in the paths, holes here and there, and the French are must less concerned with the stupidity of passers-by.  (Unlike America, many construction-type sites are not completely roped off.  We walked down a street while they were trimming limbs in Pierrelatte and, as I was with two women, the man said we could pass if I didn’t mind them dropping limbs on me.  From what I understood, the women would remain unmolested.  He was joking, of course, and let us pass, but it’s interesting that where danger is implied they do not feel such a need to warn people.  It’s refreshing in a strange way.)  Well, as the trip with Katrina and Kayley progressed Kayley tripped enough that I began telling the two of them to watch their step as they did not want to “pull a Kayley.”  This took on more severe implications when Kayley and I visited Amiens.  On our way back from a fantastic meal Kayley twisted her ankle after which I had to half-carry her home (don’t worry, she is fully recovered).  At one point she was riding piggyback, but since she couldn’t use her legs to hold on all of the weight was on my shoulders, so the piggybacking didn’t last long.  We passed by a young woman while Kayley was on my back who obviously thought we were stupid drunk foreigners.  We were just stupid though.  Anyway, you’ve been warned.